Friday, February 17, 2017

I Remember . . .

Image result for sun png tumblr
Tuesday 7th - 8th February 2017

I Remember . . .

Lying on the warm rocks of Russell
As the ocean breathed in and out tickling my tiny toes.
Listening to my sister laughing as the sea birds pecked away at her lunch.
SQUACK!! The bird whaled as Teah chased them into the cloudy sky
Then comes Amy sprinting across the hot tar road.
Suddenly comes a splash of refreshing sea water as Amy jumps to the ocean.
Looking up to the shimmering sun as it warms me once again,
Thankful that the sun was shining that day.

That was my summer
I was learning to notice and use a structure of a piece of writing to write my own descriptive writing.
I had to start with what we were doing,
Something that was happening,
Something we did and why we did it
Then we figured out the rest of the structure of our stories.
I thought I did the beginning well by putting ‘lying on the warm rocks of Russell,’
It is my most descriptive piece of writing so far in all the years I have been at school.      

1 comment:

  1. Aloha Lily,
    My name is Jessie from Grey Main School. I really like this piece of writing because it is really detailed. My favourite part is when you wrote 'as the ocean breathed in and out'. What was your favourite part while writing this?
    Ka Pai (good work)
    From Jessie